1. |
Sweet Pea
04:21
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I am not staking innocence,
On the night I took the life,
Of my best friend
You may have read the papers,
You maybe saw on TV
But let me take, take you back
To the back seat as I relive this thing so vivid
These hands have made more than a few mistakes
I place my fear and let it dilate
But no words can elaborate on my grief with no relief I know this is my fault
And the blame is ushered to my shame my life has become a shutter
Blood on my hands is not a metaphor as I’m losing sleep as I reach for grace that’s unattained.
We held him at gunpoint took him to the nearest ATM
I sat in the back where he could not defend
Then my world caved in
Then it happened all of a sudden then it happened wish that it wouldn’t
There was a struggle he reached for the gun
I was struck by fist and panic
It happened so fast I saw blood blosoms on the glass
When he took of on foot it seemed so surreal
Then I saw Adrian hunched over the steering wheel
And though my sentence will never repay what I did
Just know it hurts me just as much as it does you.
Now I rot in this hell in this cell tell my God forgive me.
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2. |
White Crow
05:09
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I have roughly about five minutes
To spill my heart and everything that’s in it
Every pain regret mistake
Everything I’ll admit it
That’s why you’re here that’s why you listen
That’s why you’re listening
In the spring of eighty eight
I was a family’s third mistake
By ninety three learned of love and suffering
Pain and poverty
But that was nothing to things that haunt my dreams
Fears that pull me from the seams like tide into the sea
I still pray to God
Just not so very loud
I still pray to God
But not so very proud
I still pray to God
I hate the way it sounds
We die alone that’s fear I can’t swallow
I just can’t stomach all the faith I have borrowed
I’m still recovering from ghosts from past
Like the night my mom left my dad was a wreck
When my father was caught with a car full of drugs
Every reason you left, everything that I was
And I’m nursing the wounds with hope that is vacant
And I said that I’d be fine but I just I just cant take it now
This is what hopelessness looks like
I still pray to God
Just not so very loud
I still pray to God
But not so very proud
I still pray to God
I hate the way it sounds
If this is me raw then here’s secrets that I have masked
I cheated on her and ran from my past
And I lied and I stole I thought pain wouldn’t last
But now I swim through the guilt and I am still sinking so fast
So hey there lonely savior
If you’re somewhere looking down
Just know that I looked and looked
But you were nowhere to be found
But I still believe in miracles
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3. |
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I haven’t spoke to God since the last time I spoke to you
You watched my first breath I held you as you took your very last
You’re teaching me patience the hard way
I just hope I don’t fail you like your kidneys failed you
And I haven’t spoke to God since the last time that I spoke to you
I feel like one of your half smoked cigarettes
Itching for the fire I once, that I once carried on
Miss myself and you
But I can’t reconnect
Reconnect the two
But I lost my self with you
I lost myself with you
I’ve burnt out
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4. |
Speechless
03:17
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All I have left is withering words
That rot in this damn chest
With prayers decayed on my
My gray chapped lips
And it just seems that I just watch my seams come
Come unstitched but I cannot tell you how many times I spoke to God to leave him speechless.
I’m not in hell
Just the furthest place from heaven.
I’m not convinced
And it just seems that I just watch my seams come come unstitched
But I cannot tell you how many times I spoke to God to leave him speechless
Speechless yeah speechless yeah my eyes hurt from constantly search
Searching for but im not convinced that there is God
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5. |
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Something I,
Never said
On the night
That you left,
I was pacing
On the street
Saw your taillights
Burn in me
Like fiery eyes sent from hell
Prayers spoke as whispers
Ripe with such sentiment
Transpose to begging fading
Losing their significance
Now I sit here heavy breathing
Hands pressed firm on the floor
Looking for-for a sign
Or a hint of something more
But all I taste is what I cant replace
I spilled my heart and lungs
I bare the brunt of love
And I felt like my uncle
Who that I had never knew
If depression runs in my genes
I guess my genes are showing through
On a gray morning they found him with a gun in lap
You see he held the fire love but that fire burnt him back
Now I sit here feeling one-one in same
I’m sifting through the ash and I’m engulfed inside the flames
I was the anchor to your boat equipped without a rope
I spilled my heart and lungs
I bare the brunt of love
I will count the reasons
To forget your name
But I’m running out of fingers
And I’m running out ways
I watched your taillights go
As they slowly lost their glow
Comparable to us
As I fall on lack of trust
I’m stomaching the pain
Lighting fires in the rain
But it was more to me
More than I could be - God
No chance to be whole
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